Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
