I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
