My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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