what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
