You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
