i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
