I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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