so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
