Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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