can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize