You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
