I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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