no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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