PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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