Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
