No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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