My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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