That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
All the doctor said was why
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize