UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
