Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do vagina's smell?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
