WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
