dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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