it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize