How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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