He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
