I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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