I wannas sexs uuuuu
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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