y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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