she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I cockslap morals
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
