I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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