Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
