Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
