What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
