he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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