Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
