I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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