Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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