I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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