singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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