This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
