I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
