I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
