Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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