Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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