I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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