The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
