he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This baby is an asshole
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
