Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
