i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
