I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
