She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize