I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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