Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize