I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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