Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
