Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
