I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think my mom watched the whole time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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