waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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