I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
3 2 1 whiskey
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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