I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
