my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
