Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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