My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You smell like stripper and shame
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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