I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
