Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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