I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
