There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night