Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.