Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina