ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
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no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"