she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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